Sometimes

I feel as if I'm crazy.
My mind dribbling up and down constantly, never sticking to a firm state, I feel as a girl composed of multiple insane parts. The happier I get, the further I fall into that empty abyss of depression.

I'm stuck in this ambivalence, this yin and yang of love and hate.
And it's tearing me apart, I can't hold myself together.
I wear the face of both tears and smiles.

Roses always bloom with attached thorns. How ironic.

I haven't written in awhile- too absorbed in my mundane activities of life- I rarely pick up the pen and my journal and just pour down my thoughts and emotions. Even when I am merely staring into the blank canvas of my walls, I let my mind remain motionless. In other words, I have become indolent.

I need a muse. Soon.