Can you hear me now?

I thought I loved you.
But honestly, I don't know how to truly love a person.

I don't know love; I merely know the connotations of love.


Because I'm constantly battling this war against myself,

Because I am a selfish person who can't see outside the wall I've built for myself,

Because of the constant fear of being consumed by the great light of love, being afraid to be the next moth to burn into ashes,

I cannot receive love, I cannot give love.

I've always been infatuated with the idea of love.

However, it is not your evanescent love I desire anymore.

It is the love that I can feel, that can be a guidance; so that I may one day be able to love, and show the world what kind of love I'm capable of,

it is the love around me that I can hold onto, to get me to the other side in times of thin ice,

that I desperately need.